“Even though I’m so nervous I could throw up, I thoroughly and completely love and accept myself. Even though I’m so nervous I could throw up, I thoroughly and completely love and accept myself.”
The year was 2012 and I was sitting in the back room of my grandparents’ house attempting to tap away my fears. I was about to go live on a webinar no one was going to be watching, I was hoping my grandparents weren’t listening in on me because I was so nervous and insecure about how I sounded that I didn’t even want two people who love the crap out of me to hear. The webinar I was doing was for a direct sales company that I loved, but I didn’t have any business selling for – I had only agreed to it because I wasn’t confident enough to say no when I was offered a spot on a team.
I was in way over my head. Weekly mentoring calls with my mentor and with each of my team members I was mentoring, training, so much training, reaching out to people, so many people.
At the time, I lived with my husband and daughter at my in-law’s house. I had debilitating anxiety and postpartum depression. Even though driving terrified me, the thought of my in-laws hearing me record this webinar was scarier than trekking ten minutes to my grandparents’ house.
I can’t even tell you how much water I drank over the next 30 minutes as I sputtered my way through the webinar. I had every single word written out, very well rehearsed so it didn’t sound like reading, I didn’t have the camera recording my face at all, and I was a nervous wreck!
My nerves were shot for days after that experience.
I won’t knock the tapping though! EFT definitely works. I look back at that time in my life in utter amazement that I survived it and came out of it the way I did. I’m so proud of that version of me. She was doing the very best she could, trying to create the best life for her family, and none of those early attempts were in vain.
In fact, I learned some important truths during that time:
- I 100% am not cut out for direct sales. I’d rather create my own offerings and connect with people on a more organic level. And not on the phone. At all.
- Personal development isn’t a dirty word. Somewhere along my journey I picked up the belief that self help books were a sham. Maybe 90s sitcoms?? But being on a direct sales team surrounded by people reading book after book after book piqued my interest.
- I needed to build my confidence. I hated how much time I wasted preparing for a webinar that ended up not bringing in any new customers. It frustrated me that I took time away from my then-one-year-old to do something that ended up being pointless. At least pointless in that moment.
I eventually dropped out of the direct sales team with a massive sigh of relief and didn’t look back. I did continue my personal development journey and consumed so many books, classes, journals, and trainings. I saw my life changing, I saw myself morphing into the person I wanted to be, the person I knew deep down I’ve always been.
Over time, my confidence began growing. I’m still nervous a lot, I still have blocks, I still get anxious when I’m driving, but life is so radically different for me now. I’m actually able to take action, to be visible and share my gifts and teachings with the world.
I still overthink things, but I have tools to pull me out of that mindset, and you know what? It gets easier and easier each time.
I want that for you. If you’re stuck in cycles of doubt and overthinking, I want you to experience the freedom of confidently making a decision and moving forward.
In everything I teach, I believe that our highest self already exists. The only thing standing between us and that higher self are the blocks and beliefs we’ve picked up along the way.
In Journal Me Confident, I lovingly guide you through these blocks and changing your belief levels so that your most confident self can break through.
There’s zero fluff in Journal Me Confident. In fact, I didn’t even tell any of my backstory in it, I saved all that for the posts I’ve written to share Journal Me Confident with the world. When you buy it, you want the confidence-building info and I respect your time so from the very first second, we get to work on lessening that gap between you and your higher self.